Today marks the 19th year my oldest son has been in my life and in the lives of some many other people. Each birthday I always recall with my children the journey of their entry into our lives.
For my oldest I was a solo-parent raising him on my own. The situation that brought me to this part of my life was one that wasn’t expected but accepted. Before my twentieth birthday I learned I was pregnant and suddenly my independent life was no longer my own. I was living for free in a beautiful guest home on the lake in exchange for taking care of a teenager when her mom went out of town.
Over the months of my pregnancy I felt a strength for teamwork between my child and myself. We moved back to my mom’s home just before his arrival into the world but even as I moved back home I knew I wasn’t moving to have my mom raise my child but to just give us a little support from the big wide world until we could go out there on our own. It felt comforting to sleep back in the room I used to enjoy as a teenager but after living away from home for a couple years the pride for independence and being a contribution to society kept me driving on deciding the life we were going to have together. We were ready to have our own place within six months. It felt great to move out but we were never too far away. Always within just a handful of miles.
Becoming a mom I knew I had to always strive to set an example of strength and focus for my child to be proud of me. I recall all the details I did to nest away as I prepared for his arrival. I was happy to go to Value Village and get things used because we didn’t have much. Being a young mom I didn’t ever feel like I was trying to keep up with any image. I just knew I wanted to get the tools necessary to be successful. Nothing fancy. Just simple.
The night I went into labor I was on the telephone with a good friend and found myself with low back pain. She of course told me I was in labor but not knowing anything myself about labor I thought I’d work on ways to feel better. After all I was still in the middle of my birthing class series. I just assumed I was uncomfortable. Soon after I tried finding comfort by taking a bath and then a shower, I finally decided to awaken my mom and see if she could take me to the doctor to make sure everything was okay.
She asked me if I had my overnight bag, of course I quickly replied “no, I’m not in labor. I just need help with my low back pain.” She smiled the way only a patient mother can realizing low back pain meant back labor and my mom replied with, “ok then let’s go to the hospital and see what’s going on.” My mother had eight children and she obviously knew a thing or two about childbirth but as a loving mother she also let me figure things out on my own to embrace my own journey.
Within a few hours at the hospital family was notified that I was in labor and before long there was going to be a new addition to our family. When my doctor arrived I looked straight into her eyes to be mesmerized and suddenly my breathing relaxed and I told her “the baby is coming now!” She checked me and threw off her sweater grabbed all the medical supplies and suddenly she was catching my baby 30 minutes later!
Holding my son in my arms was the most joyous moment ever. A moment captured in the heart of all mom’s thoughts and feelings forever. Now I look at him 19 years later, he’s taller than me but his face still carries the memories of his first day breathing the air of life.
He’s been an old soul his entire life and often the depth of his connection was greater with my father, his Baba than with kids his own age. His favorite treasures are clothing and collections with history. For his birthday one of my sister’s gave him a hat from my late Godfather. They share a birthday and their spirit. My son wore my late Godfather’s sport coat to my Godmother’s funeral. At the funeral we saw a collection of pictures and at my first communion my Godfather was wearing the same sport coat that now is enjoyed by my son. He was thrilled on his birthday to receive an old style suitcase for his collection. My son isn’t like most 19 year olds. He is uniquely unto himself.
Over the years from being my little budda baby to be a fine young man I still treasure that I was gifted to be his mom. I am forever grateful that he picked me and our family when he chose to come into this world. I look to see who will be luck enough to know my children as they venture out in the world. I believe we are lucky to have our kids home to raise, inspire and lead them until they are called to see the world outside. It is such a short amount of time and sadly many parents are more caught in their own lives to really treasure all that is right in front of them.
The reflection of our better selves is shown through our children. I believe my role as a successful mom is to raise my kids with the life skill to thrive, the heart to love, the ambition to believe and the dreams to never give up. I know I will have been successful when they find their life partner and their partener tell me they are the luckiest person ever because they get to love my child. My role isn’t to have my children be a burden to society but instead to be a contribution to our community and the world around around us.
We never know how long we have and how many birthdays we’ll have to celebrate but we do know how well we use the time we are given. My Simple Daily Miracle is in knowing that each day I wake up to not end the day with regrets for not giving an example for others to follow. I sleep knowing that I did my best and look for the new day to be even better than the last day!
What is your Simple Daily Miracle?
Jacqueline Nichols
